


running up that hill

by cheinsaw



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Affairs, Fluff and Angst, Kink Meme, M/M, Poor Life Choices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheinsaw/pseuds/cheinsaw
Summary: From the kinkmeme: "Jin and Kizakura had an affair while Jin was still married to his wife. After his wife died and Jin left Kyoko with her grandfather, they continued their relationship for years. Kyoko goes to confront her father in his office one day and sees them together."





	

**Author's Note:**

> i uh, don't condone cheating on your wife with a fedora bro. jin is a terrible person but if i can make you feel conflicting emotions about him then ive done my job
> 
> the characters in kyouko's name translate to echo child

Jin Kirigiri likes to consider himself a rational, stable person. He typically makes decisions only after extensively thinking them through, considering all the possible outcomes before reaching a conclusion. Jin prefers facts to subjectivity, the objectives forming a clear picture in his mind.

The facts: he is twenty years old, and he is in Koichi's apartment. It smells like instant coffee and bourbon and fabric softener. It is summer, and humid. Koichi is by his side like usual, and Jin is tense with anticipation. Anticipation for what? Jin's a married man - his shotgun-wedding wife is still his wife. But there's something about the lazy heat of the summer, the grass swaying in the wind outside, that pushes him forward.

He kisses Koichi. Koichi kisses back.

Neither of them can bring themselves to talk about it. Jin wracks his mind for answers, asking himself over and over how something so wrong and sad can feel so completely right.

Two months later Jin has a daughter, a tiny little thing with his eyes and mouth and fingers and toes. The second he sees her he regrets ever thinking of her as a mistake. She is the most beautiful thing he's ever witnessed - he almost can't believe that someone like him could make such a perfect child.

He names her Kyouko, his echo girl. He can't even imagine loving anything more than her.

Koichi loves her too. It's clear to Jin from the way he holds Kyouko and smiles down at her sleeping face that he's just as awed as Jin is. "She's gonna be just like you," he says.

Jin hopes to every god he can think of that it's not true.

 

"Hey, stop moving around or I can't take the picture," Koichi laughs, steadying the camera. "Jeez."

Jin smiles up at Kyouko's happy little face as the shutter clicks and the camera spits out a still-developing photo. He gently places Kyouko back on the ground and turns back to where Koichi's waving the photo around. "What now?"

"I'm hungry," Kyouko says.

Jin has to laugh at how blunt she is. "Let's get some food, okay?"

"I know a good place around here," Koichi says. It's the first real weekend of summer, and Koichi has suddenly dragged Jin and his daughter out on an "adventure." They're visiting a little seaside town, which is turning out to be much more fun than Jin had expected. "Say, Kyouko-chan, do you like crab?"

"I don't know!"

"Well, I guess we'll have to find out, huh?" Koichi kneels down so he's at Kyouko's eye level. "And does my Kyouko-chan want a piggyback?" Kyouko squeals in reply.

Jin really has to hand it to him - Koichi, despite insisting he's not good with kids, could practically be Kyouko's second father. He watches with a smile as Koichi picks her up, spins her around, and hoists her up onto his shoulders.

When the day is done and Kyouko's been tired out, Jin and Koichi make their way to the train station, with Kyouko still clinging sleepily to Koichi's shoulders. The sun has long since set, and the stars have come out. The low light is pale on Koichi's face, and Jin finds himself admiring it, eyeing Koichi and hoping Koichi somehow just won't notice.

It's been five years, but the feeling is still there. He wants to kiss Koichi. He wants to kiss Koichi so damn bad, and even the thought is repulsive - Jin is married, Jin is a father, Jin's perfect angel daughter is right there. Jin cannot cheat on his wife with his best friend in front of Kyouko.

The sudden roar of the train's arrival breaks Jin out of his trance, and he jolts.

Koichi places a comforting hand onto Jin's shoulder. "It's been a long day, huh? Let's go."

 

It is normal to go out drinking with your best friend, Jin reassures himself. It is normal to go back to your best friend's place afterwards. He could blame it on the alcohol, maybe, but Jin can't lie to himself - he's barely even buzzed. It doesn't stop his fingers from lacing into Koichi's once they're safe inside the apartment. It doesn't stop him from staring into Koichi's eyes a second too long. It doesn't stop him from wrapping his arms around Koichi, his face pressing into the hollow between Koichi's neck and shoulder. The contentment he feels is almost enough to make him think he's sixteen again, outside with Koichi on a sunny day after school's over.

He wishes he knew it sooner. Koichi - it was always Koichi. Koichi is the only one who makes him feel this way. Koichi is something special, something good and true, and in the mess of Jin's sorry life that's more than enough.

"I love you," he breathes into the darkness. It slips out of his mouth unbidden, and it leaves him with equal parts calm and fear.

"...I know it's probably a bad idea, but, hey. We're already here, right?" Koichi chuckles. "I love you, Jin."

 

The year that follows is a blur. Jin's father asks him again and again to take up his position as successor to the Kirigiri detective line, and Jin grows ever more uneasy by the day. Jin takes up several odd jobs; none of them feel right. Kyouko starts school for the first time, and she does wonderfully. Koichi is still a steady presence, and the secret they share fills Jin with both elation and self-hatred.

His wife is sick.

His wife is dead.

 

"I can't do this anymore," Jin hisses through clenched teeth. It's a week after the funeral, and the grief and the loss and the confusion are starting to get to him. "I can't stay with my father like this, I can't do this..."

Koichi rubs his back. "Hey, hey. It's alright. I'm here." There's a flask under Jin's nose. "How about you spend the night here and we'll see in the morning, 'kay?"

It's more than okay. Jin takes a long drink, and collapses into Koichi's arms. He clings to Koichi all night, terrified and guilty and not at all what he should be. And, true to his word, Koichi doesn't let go.

 

"I can't go back," Jin whispers in the morning. The reality of the situation is heavy and final.

Koichi sighs. "Well, you practically live here already, but what about..."

Jin is drowning and frozen and being buried alive. "She... will be alright," he says, his voice shaky. "I don't think I can take her."

Koichi looks at Jin, and the pain in his eyes is clear enough to break Jin's heart. Jin wants to tell him that he _loves_ Kyouko, doesn't want to leave her, can't let her go. He wants to tell Koichi that Kyouko is so smart, even at her young age, and that she'll be a wonderful detective someday. He wants to tell Koichi that Kyouko can have the future as a Kirigiri that he never could.

 

Jin hates every second of it.

 

When he's appointed headmaster of Hope's Peak the first thing Jin does is set up the photo of himself and Kyouko, placing it front and center on his desk. Koichi, helping move into the new office, smiles that slow lazy grin and says he remembers it like it was yesterday.

It hurts, thinking about what his daughter might be doing now. Does she hate Jin? Is she in training to be a detective? What does an orphaned girl dream of?

Koichi pats his back. "She's a great kid," he says, and Jin knows he means well.

 

Jin's looking through the files for the soon-to-be 78th class when a familiar name catches his eye. Kirigiri. The small portrait shows a stone-faced girl with long, pale hair, and it is almost like looking into a mirror. Super High School Level Detective. Of course. Jin's eyes scan over the profile rapidly. She's sixteen, lived in America for a while, _exceptionally talented in detective work, can solve practically any case, a guarded individual who prefers not to talk much..._

This has to be Koichi's work. There are other talent scouts, of course, but Koichi is the best. Koichi can see potential in anyone, can hone in on their capabilities, and selects the best of the best for Hope's Peak. There's no way this slipped past him.

Jin looks up from his desk. "You scouted my daughter?"

Koichi tips his hat. "Don't you think she'd be a fine addition to this school?"

Jin sighs deeply. "That's not the point. It's... Seeing her again, I..."

"Ah, worried she might not want to?"

"I let her down," Jin says, and it's the first time he's ever admitted it out loud. "I abandoned her. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to see me."

"Well, that might be true." Koichi starts to fiddle with the cap of his flask. "But she accepted my offer, and she's not stupid. She knows you're the headmaster, and she wants to come here. So..."

Jin nods. "I understand."

"Just wait and see," Koichi says, and pours the contents of his flask down his throat.

 

The entrance ceremony for the 78th class is overwhelmingly successful, and Jin finally allows himself to relax knowing all his hard work has paid off. When the school day's done he stretches, tidies up the papers on his desk, and sinks down into the couch, sitting closer to Koichi than he would during school hours.

"Nice job today," Koichi says, resting his hand on Jin's thigh.

"Thank you." 

They're quiet for a moment before Jin presses his mouth against Koichi's softly. Kissing Koichi makes him feel complete, in a way - warm lips, scratchy stubble, the bitter taste of alcohol. It's almost enough to make him forget he's still at the school, even though it's after hours. When they break apart, Jin lets their foreheads touch, staring into Koichi's eyes with a smile.

And there's a small sound, a girl clearing her throat.

Kyouko Kirigiri is standing in the open doorway.

She's gotten so tall. She still has Jin's eyes, mouth, fingers (although they're hidden by a pair of gloves). Jin shoots to his feet, tries to greet her, to explain,  _ something _ , but no sound will come out of his mouth.

How much did she see? Their closeness, the kiss? It certainly wouldn't take a detective to figure this one out.

Kyouko's eyes narrow, her lips turning down bitterly. Without saying a word, she sighs, turns on her heel, and walks right back out. The door slams heavy behind her, and Jin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Sorry," Koichi says after a long pause.

"Don't be." Jin sinks back onto the couch, finding that his legs are shaky. "It's my fault."

Koichi hums. "I'm sure Kyouko-chan will come back. Just give her time."

"You always say that."

"Yeah, and has it ever not worked?" Koichi places his hand over Jin's, rubbing circles with his thumb. "For now, you should relax."

"I'll try."

Koichi smiles reassuringly. "C'mon, Jin. Let's go home."

 


End file.
